AND ALL THAT JAZZ

Resultado de imagen de famous jazz singers

When you can´t be the best, the first thing you need is to set for it, to accept it. I´m not going to be the best, but I need it to be the number one, not because I wanted to be better than Amanda, it was simply because I was in huge competition with myself and I know I could push myself even further. My mother didn´t agree, she could see how my obsession was increasing, I was losing weight, hair, not my teeth thank god, but I was being consumed but my own head.

When I first joined the school it was just for a trial, I´ve heard great things about the teachers, and I´ve always had this part of me that wanted to become a jazz singer, be Velma Kelly one day on a musical, or simply, sing for a couple of people in a den, no matter what, I was deeply in love with the jazz music. Probably my first contact with it came listening to Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong, but the jazz standard that stroke me was “My Funny Valentine”, was part of “The talented of Mr. Ripley” soundtrack, sang by Matt Damon and after some research I learnt that Chet Baker was the one who made it really famous, then there was ” Nature Boy”, again I got to know it sang by the wonderful David Bowie, as part of “Moulin Rouge”, little by little I got to know the big names, Miles Davis, Etta James, and then two of my favourite ladies: Billie Holiday and Nina Simone, what to say about “I put a spell on you” sang by Simone, I get goosebumps everytime.

The thing was that in my jazz course I discovered that in spite of what I used to tell myself I could sing, my teacher told me I had a really soulful voice, warm and melancholic, day after day my passion increased, singing jazz was the only thing that could me make me happy.

In the end what attracted me repelled, I loved the music, I loved singing, but then, there was Amanda, she was so gifted, technically brilliant, she was a bit of a diva and for whichever reason she decided to start this absurd competition with me. I wasn´t the best, it hurt me, but I wasn´t and I knew it, but again, she chose me as her competitor, don´t know why, this was just random classes, you didn´t get a prize besides from learning, but I bought into it, decided to start this sick competition.

Spent hours and hours at home rehearsing, learning more and more standards, more than she knew, still she would beat me each time, not that the teacher would say, Amanda you´re the best, but I knew in my heart it was the case. Jazz wasn´t fun anymore just because of her, that spiteful creature would do anything to put me in the spot, she would name artist I´ve never heard of and praise how wonderful they were, how she went to this concert with blah and then met the composer and have this amazing chat…

I was a shadow, I allowed her to make me some happy, until one day, magic happened, I got my lucky strike, she lost her voice, a malfunction on her vocal chords made her unable to sing unless she was undergoing a very risky operation that couldn´t assure her she would be able to sing again. Was I happy? Of course! She was the cancer of my life, and losing her voice wasn´t the only divine plan I´ve had prepared for her… See you in hell Amanda…

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