I LIKE BEING A WOMAN, IF YOU LET ME CHOOSE WHICH ONE TO BE

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“I am awfully greedy; I want everything from life. I want to be a woman and to be a man, to have many friends and to have loneliness, to work much and write good books, to travel and enjoy myself, to be selfish and to be unselfish… You see, it is difficult to get all which I want. And then when I do not succeed I get mad with anger.”- Simone de Beauvoir.

People are fun, with a great sense of humour and capable leaders, this makes me wonder: Shouldn’t we all become politicians or life coaches, because we are so good at managing other people’s lives…

There was this TV ad in Spain for female toiletries saying something like: “I love being a woman”! (especially those days when you’re bleeding yourself out). Instead of that I feel that ad should have said something like: “I love being a woman, if you let me choose freely which woman I want to be”, whichever that means for each of us, not what society it’s going to impose or force us to believe.

Perhaps for me being a woman is having a busy mind focus on finding the cure for cancer, and that is for me everything in life. It could be being a politician of a third world country fighting for equality, fighting to have equal rights, trying to get our right to vote, or I could  be a mother fighting for saving my marriage and daughter, and doing everything for my family.

Why so many people think that being a woman is simply becoming a mother? I understand that from a biological point of view we’ve been “equipped” with a system that allow us to bring life to this world, but, that doesn’t mean that we have to use it, and if we choose not to use it, we’re bitter, selfish, lazy or narcissistic.

I know lots of people who are scare of saying that they didn’t want to have children and after having them, they felt the same way, they regretted it sorely. They simply let the social pressure coming from those who think that can give life lessons to people (those who can even take care of theirs) change their minds. Why couldn’t we say that people have children for selfish reasons instead of altruistic and the simple fact of wanting to perpetuate our specie is something megalomaniac.

Of course we wouldn’t say that, because we also understand that people are happy like that, it’s their lives, different people can be happy in different ways, therefore, if I decide not have children, I don’t want any unnecessary comments or judgements.

We must stop distorting women’s image about themselves.

We’re not just beautiful objects to use as decoration, to add as background on talk shows. Or what about all those images that after Photoshop sells us are unrealistic models that we will never be able to reach. Anorexia is not nice, is a disease and it kills, it makes you see yourself ugly even when you’re gorgeous. Let’s use real women as models, women that are happy with their prominent noses, big booties, small breasts, bent fingers, I don’t know, Could we just love ourselves a bit more and better? , Could we give each other more positive reinforcement? , not fake, real, being beautiful is very subjective, we should be worrying more about other stuff.

Finally and to sum up, as Adolfo Dominguez, Spanish Fashion Designer would say , “Wrinkles are beautiful”, and what’s better after having a long and happy life, allowing all those experiences to be shown in our faces telling people our story.

Be the woman you want to be…

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