I seriously can’t do this job anymore, I’m going to quit now!
– Right… we both know you’re not going to do it…
– I could, you know?
– Yeah…of course! You’re the bravest woman in the room…
– It’s not funny, I wish I could!
– You could…
– I could, right?
– Right, I’ll go and make myself a tea. Mouthwash?
I can’t remember the exact date when this “Mouthwash hour” began, but probably was on one of many days where I complaint of how I absolutely hated my job and how much I would have loved to stand up and walk away… I was telling Ash how depressed and miserable I was and he said something like, imagine instead of coffee or tea we’ll have some vodka shots and then go back to our seats, will be so much happier in the office, and that was it, it was set. Why Mouthwash?
Oh well, because obviously we couldn’t have a bottle of vodka in the fridge( it wouldn’t have last for an hour, people were pretty miserable in my office) , so we decide to use a mouthwash bottle to store the vodka , I mean it was weird, who would put his/her mouthwash in the fridge, but man! We are just weird creatures working in an office, everything was possible. There it was set, when the day was becoming too tedious, stressful or whatever , it was time for “The Mouthwash Hour”.
At first, my boss was gladly impressed, she said she’s never seen me that happy before and that my attitude was contributing so much to the team’s mood improvement (probably cos I never have spoken so much nonsense in my life, but hey! Different people are happy in different ways) , Ash’s productivity improved, he even got a promotion! (which was shit for me because he got relocated to a different floor, so where should we keep the “Mouthwash”? Thank god he was like… well… I think we should have one on each floor!
– Genius Ash! You’re genius!
That was the life, go to work, “Mouthwash”, a little bit of work, a little bit of “mouthwash”, it worked… for like what? 3 months… To be honest, we gradually started losing control, it wasn’t just being a bit merry or chirpy, there was a lot of clumsiness and a dramatic number of mistakes and lack of concentration. People started wondering about the “mouthwash”, of course this was the always noisy and petulant Rosie.
– I think guys the mouthwash is not “mouthwash”, you know?
Really? How smart! How smart you are Rosie! With your high pitch voice and your obsession for pink!
– I think we ned to stop Ash…
– No! Frida, we promised! Will stick together for the “mouthwash” no matter what.
– Yeah… well… they might fire us!
– I thought you wanted that!
– Not exactly, I want to be the one quitting and making a point.
– We’re making a point here.
– Frida, this was your idea.
– Was it? Ash, you know that you shouldn’t listen to me.
– You know what? I’m quitting!
– Here we go again…
– Nope, for real…
– Unless what…?
– We snort the tea bags…
– Ha! Bye Ash!
That was my last day in the office, after that I quit and found a new job, which actually motivated me and made me happy. I wouldn’t be where I’m now without Ash and “The Mouthwash hour”. So guys, if you ever find yourselves in a difficult position, a job you hate , people you hate and so forth, you know you can always count on your “mouthwash”.
What happened to Ash? He started something call “The Fresh Mint hour”, don’t ask!