• Do it! Pull the trigger!
  • I don’t want to!
  • I said do it! Why do you care?
  • Because I do care about you.
  • Oh, my god! Really? Now?

He was holding the gun right in front of my face and I hoped that he would actually pull the trigger, I wished this to end but he wouldn’t do it, he had to have all these feelings for me and put that right in front of us.

  • Shall I do it?
  • I’m not giving you the gun.
  • Shit man!

I tried to get it from his hands, but he was stronger than me, he used to be a karate teacher back in the days, and I was too petite and weak to be able to do anything, my skills were more about negotiation and communication. When they were sending us on missions I’d do the talking bit, he would be in charge in case things were going wrong and we need to use some violence. There were few situations where he had save my life, once someone was so close to strangle me, the following about to rape me, and the last one someone shot me and he took me to the hospital. He was really good to me, he was always so good to me, it was such a pleasure working with him.

  • Let me finish this! Please!
  • Will find another way!
  • I’m going to die anyway! I’m infected!
  • I got the cure!
  • Where?
  • I’ll get it for you, I know where is kept, I know who has it.
  • Why should I trust you?
  • Why are you treating me like this and putting me in this position?
  • Oh, come on!
  • Why are you being so difficult to me? Is it because I love you?
  • Stop that thing!
  • Why is so hard for you to believe that I do love you?
  • Can you stop repeating it?
  • I love you stupid woman, even if you don’t want me to love you, even if you hide and I have to find you.
  • This is not about you, you understand?
  • It’s always about you! How many times have you been about to be killed? You know, what? At some point I thought that’s what you wanted , that I was just delaying the inevitable, that you wanted to destroy yourself.
  • We were doing our missions and things got complicated
  • You looked for complications.
  • Just give me the bloody gun, fucking hell!!

He made me feel so vulnerable and weak. I started to feel so dizzy, the world start spinning around me, colours were fading, light was disappearing and even though I was trying I couldn’t stand, and the next thing I know is that I’m lying on the floor, with a wet towel on my forehead and with Joe holding my hand.


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