Everyone’s got a combination to access into their lives. I was there trying to get it right, only one more opportunity before the alarm went off. Right, I’ve tried the date of birth, the classic 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 , nothing, what else could I try? Perhaps something meaningful, god knows that I’m terrible with numbers and with decoding emotions. Do I really want to know what it’s inside? Perhaps I should just walk away, it might be that I’m not going to like what he keeps inside. What about if I open it and then explodes and I hurt him? I couldn’t live with that responsibility, it would be too much to handle. Right, I have five minutes more to think about it, then the buildings alarm will went off and I’ll have to run in any case. Open, close… knowing, not knowing, deciding…

That room was special, it wasn’t ordinary, it was all decorated by souvenirs of different trips and tiny figures, buddhas and some other things. The walls were painted in blue, blue, like his eyes, his eyes are blue, do not let yourself forget, that’s what they want, they want you to forget, you’re a human, do not forget, you’re still a human, you’re still alive in this planet, so do not let them win. Ok, I need to find the combination, as I said I’ve tried, the date of birth, the obvious series of numbers, but, wait! What about the date that we met? It was a 28th of February, just two years ago, is that date important enough for him? Will he use it? Doesn’t matter, let’s do this! Try! Ok, 28-02-2013, done!

Oh! It’s that! I got right! Blue, I knew it, his eyes were still blue, blue, deep indigo blue, like if they could just go right through you and burn your insides, that beautiful smile, that beautiful face, it was going to make me cry. Shit! The alarm of the building, and now? Shall I leave him there? Shall I take him with me? I don’t have the time.

  • I love you, try to remember me, I’ll come back to you once I’m ready. Don’t allow them to erase me. Now I know all the right combinations so I’ll be back. I promise! Trust me!

I run, I didn’t have the time to kiss him, I wish I had, but time was counted by decimals and if they were finding me there, they’ll send me to the deposit and erase my life again, I had been there before, I know how it is, and I’m not going to allow them to delete my memories, I want to keep everything, good and bad, cry and laughter, but it’s my life and they can’t take it away from me.


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